July 6, 2012

To You

You have no idea the turmoil, pain, and chaos that your revelations and actions have caused or are still causing. 

You have no idea how much I have cried over this situation or how sick I have made myself because of it.  I currently cannot breathe and haven’t been able to for nearly a week now.  I don’t sleep, because my mind is on a loop.  

If anyone has a right to address the other as cruel or be angry with the other, it’s me.  For months now, you’ve had a question at your door, that you’ve refused to answer, which could give me some peace of mind, and you refuse.  Yet, I’m not angry.  I just seek to understand. 

At least, I did.  

Now, I just want it all to shut off… Everything.  Every single little bit.  I don’t want to feel anything, because all I do feel is so much pain.  You brought it all into my world, and I tried so hard to be so very decent to you, after I overreacted.  

Every single thing you have done these past few months has been all about you, and I still did everything I could to be kind.   To be understanding.  

You have no idea the amount of pain you have brought here.  None.  And you still insist on slapping my face.  You came here to get what you wanted, and if not, to cause pain.  

That’s not about love.  That’s all about lust.  




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  1. musingandmulling said: (((hugs)))
  2. bethanysworld posted this