The Difference

I haven’t always been a dog person.  I’ve always been an animal person, but before Lexi I was primarily a cat person, though I had a Cocker Spaniel (Lady - I didn’t name her) and a Beagle (Ashleigh - I did) when I was married.   How they came to leave our family is still a very sore subject.  

Allergies and asthma forced me into really stepping away from cats, mostly because of the pet dander.  Lexi may shed but definitely not as badly as a cat will.  (It’s also why hardwood floors are best for me.)

But, here’s the biggest difference I’ve found between the two: 

Cats may acknowledge your pain.  They may attempt to comfort you by rubbing your face with theirs or laying next to you or on top of you. 

Dogs, however?  Dogs feel your pain.  If you’re sad, they’re sad.  If you’re happy, they’re happy.  If they do something that makes you laugh or giggle and you seem out of sorts, they’ll keep doing it just to make you smile.  

Cats may comfort, but dogs live it with you and try to cheer you up, too.

Am incredibly nervous and emotional right now… and Lexi is right beside me, and I’m even about to start crying about how much it means that this little hairball of adorableness came into my life and I matter so much to her.   No worries, I’ll be close to crying about something else in a moment.  

This Is Why You’re Not “Favourite Parent”

Let me preface this by saying years ago, I told my Mom that I was totally cool with the fact that she and my sister were closer and Dad and I were closer.  I got the cooler parent, win-win.  She vehemently denied having favourites (she obviously does).   She vehemently denied that she and my sister were closer, but doesn’t understand why I just won’t spend the day shopping with her.  All the time.   If we spend time together, it has to be shopping, where she wants to shop or we don’t spend time together.  Ever.  And, I can’t stand shopping with her, so we do it very rarely. 

Today, my Dad had surgery, as my Mother has had numerous times before.

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Resolutions

I don’t tend to make New Years Resolutions.  I make goals, but I’ve always been keen about not doing them on the obvious day of the year to do so.  It always takes me a week or so to think about the goal of the year, and, I’ve also always believed that if you want to make a change, you should start making it, not wait around for it.  

But, I am making the goal of trying to be kinder to myself.  I get this advice a lot.  A LOT.  Too often.  I’m allowed to be human.  I’m allowed to have feelings.  I’m allowed to hurt, have pain and be angry and sad.  (I’m also allowed to be happy, esctatic, experience joy, laugh, etc..) I should have adequate reason for negative based emotions, but I can no longer stuff emotions into a box and deal with them when I get around to it.  I’ve got to start realizing that I’m allowed to have them when I have them, otherwise, the box explodes, and that’s never good for anyone that’s been around during the fall out.  

So… goal of the year: be kinder to myself and be okay with being human

Belonging…

Most people think they’re looking for love - searching for something that can’t be obtained.  

The truth is, love is relatively easy to obtain and most people have it in abundance. 

We’re not searching for love.  We’re searching for where we belong - the right place, our path.  We all know what it’s like to be in a forest - light filtered out by branches and leaves.  Even stars are impossible to see.  We put one foot in front of the other, blindly, hoping that our intuition or our maps or our guides are getting us to that place our hearts are searching for. 

In this mission, the brain, the senses, and logic are blind, deaf, and dumb.  Educated guesses empty with very little thought.  It’s the gut instincts, the irrational, the emotional that gets us to where we’re going.  It’s all of what we stop trusting when we stop trusting ourselves that guides us.  No wonder people stay lost for years.  

We’re not looking for love… or rather, not JUST love.  We’re looking for where we belong.  And when we’ve found it, it is impossible to give up.  When we find it, we are truly… home.  

…and nothing else matters.