So I’m going to make this post with absolutely no tact or subtlety.
I really, REALLY love INFJs. I’ve only known a few in my life plus several more online (these forums and YouTube), but I have to say: if ever there have been any people I truly adore, it’s them.
I’m an INTJ, and as judgmental and misanthropic as I often am toward most people, INFJs never stop impressing or intriguing me. As a disclaimer, I know that the MBTI is only a tool and that each person varies drastically. So I feel awkward making sweeping generalizations that condense different people into a limiting four-letter category. The observations I’ve made below apply only to the INFJs I know, and even though they have a few things in common they are still very different from each other in a myriad of other ways. But of the few I know, they all share some really great virtues.
First off, they have a warmth that is so deep and authentic that it’s truly unmatched. One INFJ girl I know gave me a hug once (not in a flirting or romantic way, necessarily) and it was the warmest most breathtaking feeling. It’s not that I haven’t hugged people before, but this was very different. They have the most sincere, passionate, raw care for others, but only select others. They don’t just love everyone indiscriminately. They still have that standoffish and private nature that I as an INTJ can connect with. This makes their shows of affection all the more meaningful.
Secondly, any INFJ I’ve ever known has been more than smart enough to keep up in a conversation about science, philosophy, technology, etc. Knowledge of the humanities goes without saying! While I feel that I’m more investigative (using a bit more deductive reasoning), they are excellent at understanding ideas and holding intriguing conversations. They have the same passion for the obscure, the mysterious, the unknown. They have the same level of insight and depth as any INTJ. Maybe their values are somewhat different, but this serves as a really good counterbalance to keep conversation from being a series of stale agreements.
Third, INFJs are some of the best listeners I’ve ever met. They really hear everything you say, and manage to read between the lines with devastating acuity. The two INFJs that I’ve had the most contact with have catalyzed my personal growth to a significant degree. They are the type that, if teaching you something, will explain it in the most comprehensible way. They set their ego aside to help you learn, as opposed to others who would take the opportunity to make an ostentatious display of knowledge at your expense. INFJs have another truly remarkable skill: the ability to say ‘I’m sorry’ and mean it.
Needless to mention that many INFJs I meet charm the hell out of me. They often talk in an uncertain, wavering tone, as if there’s no pitch in their voice that they’re comfortable with. They have an intense strength of character that is tempered by occasional ineptitude, lending them some human vulnerability. The INFJ females I’ve seen are often stunningly beautiful, and in a way befitting their person: deep, subtle, and intense.
In short, I really wish I knew more INFJs! I have a persistent fear that I’ll never meet anybody else that I really connect with (illogical though that may be), because the ones I do are so few and far between. That’s why I’m posting on this forum. If any INFJs here would be willing to just talk, please let me know. If anybody has different experiences of them, or just more to add, please also let me know. Thanks.”
THIS MADE ME SMILE SO HARD.
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