I have a dirty mouth. It’s a somewhat source of pride in some circles. Work in politics? It’s damn near impossible not to have one. It’s the nature of the game.
Don’t mistake my dirty mouth with inappropriateness, though. I may use words of a questionable nature, but always in an appropriate situation.
As a child, we were once playing Trivial Pursuit with my grandfather’s sisters - most of whom were on the tight end of uptight. I was reading the cards, and I said, “I don’t think I can read this.” My bad. I should have said, “I don’t think I should read this,” but my Dad didn’t correct my grammar, he just told me to read the card. After hesitating just a small little while longer, and with my Dad’s impatience growing, I finally said, “Whose first Presidential order was, ‘Let’s get this God damn thing airborne?’”
The immediate aftermath dissolved into a silence that was deafening.
Like Ralphie on “A Christmas Story”, I picked up most of my dirty words from my parents, (in my case BOTH of them) although I was careful not to use them in front of them. Even being an adult this long, I still stutter saying certain words and refrain from others entirely, the “F” bomb most especially. I NEVER use that word in front of my parents, and I’d sooner use it in front of my Dad than my Mom. There’s a certain sense of respect there.
But, last Friday, I had been busy in a meeting and had missed the NRA’s initial press conference. So, when I stopped by my parent’s house on my way home and saw the NRA’s proposals, in the wake of the shooting earlier this month, including the desire to “arm” the teachers of America, I dropped the “queen mother” of dirty words (I don’t think it is, by the way, just referencing the movie) not once but twice in my mother’s presence. Although I said, “excuse me but there’s no other word for this….” before doing so, as in, “Are you… excuse me but there’s no other word for this… f—king kidding me?!”
So, congratulations, NRA… you achieved something that I never thought possible. You said something so profoundly shocking and asinine that you made me revise a personal rule instantly. You made me scream the “f” bomb in front of my mother. Twice. In the same day.
So, my obvious question is this: are you absolutely fucking kidding me?
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